The Mahrrrrr Go Syndrome

May 2008

I'm posting this:

(Stuff I've pulled off my email conversation with a good friend of mine, about one of the "out laws" of the family)

I guess I could say the same thing here.  Nothing new...........except for Nathan's decision to go in the Marines. 

AND speaking of evil little witches.................we had our traditional Mother's Day/Gregg's birthday/my Mom's birthday celebration gathering at my parent's house this last weekend.  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my God!  Do I have a rant.  I hope you don't see it that way. 

The plan for that party that Margo had suggested that I give for my parents 80th birthdays fizzled, and I'm glad that it did.   You remember me telling you how last year Margo told me (at my Aunt's 80th b-day party at my cousin's house) that I should give my parents a party because "you arrrree their daughter you are their daughter you know!!!!   And for a time I resigned myself to the monumental task of trying to clean up what is essentially two houses worth of "stuff" that has accumulated on my patio, eeking from every edifice of my home!  I was totally going to be up for that.....................and would have continued on had my own parents; when asked their opinion on when this joyous occasion should occur?............they both, almost in unison, heaved huge sighs, kind of rolled their eyes, looking at each other and saying to me......."we hope you have a wonderful party, but we will not be attending." 

So......the party was nixed by the guests of honor!  I personally was very happy that they stood their ground and didn't let anyone railroad them into a party that they didn't want.  Anyway......so we all went up to Santa Maria for Mother's day, and it was okay...........if anything in my family can be okay anymore.  

 

Gergg and Margo went up there on Thursday, which was my mom's birthday.  Ross said when they got there, almost immediately, Margo started cruising through the refrigerator looking for what she could eat.  I guess they had some ice cream and everyone had a bowl, but Margo went back and helped herself to a second bowl.  Ross said he had gotten a small cake for my mom for her birthday, his gift to her. It was a round 8 inch, one layer, split and filled with lemon, from a really good bakery in town.  My parents and Ross had already cut the cake and eaten some of it before Gregg and Margo arrived, but Marrrrrgo (bless her) proceeded to open the box, uninvited, and scraped her finger over the part of the styro-foam plate that the cake was on, where the cake had been, but only the frosting remained.  She scraped up that frosting and cleaned the plate of any extraneous frosting that had been left behind.  She then opened up a completely unopened package of cookies that were on the counter.  She ate a few of those, and then she as was closing up the bag my mom told her that since she had opened the bag, she might as well put the cookies into the cookie jar, and she replied....."oh no....they'll just get stale in there."  All this on the first evening they were in my mom's house!!  

 

Margo also brought her own food!  Last summer, while my Aunt Jan and Uncle Wayne were here from Colorado, Gregg and Margo stayed at my mom and dad's house while my mom and dad stayed in their motor home in Pismo Beach with my Aunt and Uncle.  During the day Margo and Gregg would go up to where they were camping but would spend their night in my parents house; anyway, one morning Margo helped herself to some of Ross' cereal. Later on, she commented that she thought the cereal was really good until she looked to see how much sugar was in it, and when she saw how much sugar there was, she said she dumped out the cereal!!!  She said that had she KNOWN how much sugar was in it, she WOULDN'T have had it!  So, now she brings her own cereal that she gets from a food co-op, organic food which she says it's better for her.  Yet, she does stuff like eating TWO bowls of ice cream, AND frosting, AND cookies!!!!  She also doesn't use anything but unsalted real butter.  So, she brings that with her, and a myriad of other foods that she seems to not be able to do without.  

 

That is the dissertation on just Thursday.......................now on to Friday and Saturday................and, Sunday.

 

Friday rolls around, and Sarah and I drive up to Santa Maria.  We don't get there until about 12:45 a.m.  Gregg is up, my mom is still up, also Ross; Margo is coming out of the shower.  We all say our hello's and Sarah and I take our stuff out to the motor home.  There are two motor homes at my parents house and when we all are there, my dad pulls them up next to the house and then there is room for all of us!  The motor homes are hooked up with electricity from the house, and they have water and bathroom fully functioning.  So....it's a sweet set up!  Anyway, Travis and his girlfriend were there, had gotten there on Friday earlier than Sarah and I, and they were already in the front motor home asleep.  Sarah and I were in the back motor home.  We go to sleep, and the next morning Marrrrgo is in charge of breakfast.  (We all had decided that my parents shouldn't be the ones doing all the work of the meals for us so we did breakfast.)  Margo made sourdough French toast, and bacon, and watermelon.  My dad  had made something that we all really like, which is oranges peeled and cut into bite size pieces, and bananas sliced with a little bit of powdered sugar.  That was the breakfast menu.  Margo assigned the "broiling" of the bacon to me.  I have NEVER in my life cooked bacon like this in my life!  She put the bacon out on cookie sheets, and then put them in the oven on broil.  The bacon cooked really fast, but it was spitting fat all over the place, and the cookie sheets were so shallow that the grease was threatening to spill over the edge of the pan.  I burned the first batch because I'm not used to how fast it cooked, and of course Margo had to huff and puff over it, and told me that if I couldn't do it!  That I could DO something ELSE!!!!!  I stood my ground and stayed.  I cooked a second batch just fine.  But while we were making the breakfast and people were talking, she made some remark that she guessed that she would have to be the "punching bag" of the family.  I said, "what?????"  And she said, "Well, someone has to be!"  

 

She was fishing for a reaction.  

 

The comment came out of the blue, well. not really, but she seems to have such a chip on her shoulder all time around us, and she takes on the attitude that she seems to be barely tolerating all of us, and she seems to think that in our eyes she can do nothing right.  She's gotten that from her mother, the having to measure up.  And she's transferred it to us.  Her mother is gone, she has no other family that she can be "poor me" about, so she makes the situations happen so that she can feel sorry for herself.  After breakfast, Travis and Mary left and went to see Margo's dad at the home he's in.  And Margo and Gregg left not long after Travis and Mary, and they were all gone most of the day.  

 

This is just too much crap to have to try and write Gar.  

 

Later that day, before the concert we were all going to, (Ross plays in a community orchestra) Travis and Mary come back from visiting Margo's dad, and Travis come in saying that we all need to back him up on his and Mary's decision to leave after the concert for home, as they have to work the next day, and don't want to have to get up really early on Mother's day, and drive down to Newport Beach to be home in time to go to work.  The both want to leave on Saturday night after the concert, but Travis says his mom will be hard to convince of their plan.  He then says to me, "you know my mom!  She psycho!"  We all just kind of laugh and laugh the comment off.  Travis also says to me, "well, I'm on my mom's good side right now so it might not be that bad."  I asked him how he was on his mom's good side, and he says, "I came up here."  And he also says that he got her a mother's day present so she'll be easier to convince hopefully.  When Gregg and Margo arrive Travis goes over and says that he's got something to say that she might not like to hear.......and he proceeds to tell her that he and Mary want to leave after the concert.  She gets a funny look on her face and says, "Well, you're going to do what ever you want, and it doesn't matter how I feel about it, so just go home after the concert."  It's at this point when my dad says that he feels that it's safer to drive at night, and that it's just an easier drive when at night.  He then adds, (joking with Travis now) that Travis and Mary need to clear out to make room for Nathan and Gerrit, who were going to be arriving very late in the night.  Travis laughs and he and Mary go out to start packing up and loading their car for the drive after the concert.  

 

We all go the concert, and have a very nice time...........after the concert, Travis and Mary leave, and we go back to my parents house.  We all go in the house, we're all talking and having a very normal nice time, and then Margo says to me (totally out of the blue) "I think Grampa hurt Travis' feelings tonight when he said that Travis better hurry up and leave so Gerrit and Nathan will have a place to sleep!"  This statement was addressed directly to me, by Margo.  And you should have seen her face...........it was though she was seething with hate when she said it.  I was like, "Whaaaat?"  And she repeated it, and I said to her, "well I NEVER heard THAT!" and she said, "yes, that's what he said, and I think Travis was hurt!" then she left the room.  I turned to my mom and I asked her if she heard what Margo had just said to me, and my mom said yes she heard it.  I said, "is she trying to pick a fight?  What is up with that???????"  And then, I said, I don't appreciate that at all!!!!!"  And I walked out of the room in the opposite direction.  My mom said that Gregg just rolled his eyes and shook his head.  I could not believe what had just happened. I went into Ross's computer room and I just stood there dumbfounded.  I was soooo mad!  I almost went back into the diningroom where everyone was, and I almost put the can of whoop ass out on the table let me tell you!  I wanted to go back in there and ask Margo exactly what she thought she was setting out to accomplish making a statement like that.  I honestly did not know what to make of it, it came out of the blue so fast and for absolutely no reason at all.  It was totally unrelated to anything that was happening at the time.  I was literally blindsided by her.  I felt like, "wow, should I call Gerrit and Nathan and tell them not to come to my mom's house?"  What should I do?  It was an attack.........an out and out, attack!...........anyway, she came back in, and nothing more was said.  I ignored her, and she ignored me I guess, but, it was a really weird thing.

 

Then comes the next day.............Gerrit and Nathan have ridden up together in the middle of the night because Gerrit had to work until midnight.  And Nathan had a gig with the Wiseguys, so, they're there, and we're all having breakfast burritos, which my mom had decided to have us make for her Mother's Day breakfast brunch.  Ross and I got to the store and get some items we need and while at the store we are talking about how Margo just gets into anything she wants, any time she wants it.  My mom had told us to get some donuts or some coffee cake or something sweet like that for after the breakfast burritos, so we both decide to get both items, and Ross and I are talking about how the donuts aren't going to last at all because as soon as we get them in the kitchen Margo is going to zoom over and open the package and start eating them.  Ross and I both wagered that it would be within the first 3 minutes that we've been in the house, that Margo will open the donuts.  We were right.  She came into the kitchen where Ross and I were making the eggs and potatoes for the burritos, and she opens up the box, and pops two donuts in her mouth!  BEFORE we're even done cooking!!!!  I had told Ross that we should make up a game to play that involves Margo, and food.  We keep score according to what kind of food she's eating, whether or not she opened up a new package of some kind of food, and also if it's sugary fattening food.  Because she insists that we have "a protien" and "a type of fruit" and "vegetables"........yet she'll open up the baked goods like they're the last ones on earth.  So......as Ross and I are standing at the stove cooking and moving around the kitchen, and Margo come zooming over and gets into the donuts, he and I exchange looks and he says very quietly...........20 points.  Ten for the unopened package and 5 for each donut.  I nearly laughed out loud, which would have made everyone ask why I was laughing. 

 

We got the breakfast finished and all ate, and while eating Margo was extremely quiet.  In fact she almost seemed down trodden, sad in a way.  She didn't talk much, and she didn't look up from her place at the table much.  Ross and I think that Gregg must have laid into her.  She was very subdued.  Now either she is so jealous of my being able to have children that she can hardly stand it, and thus hardly stand to be around us, but.....I'm not sure.  She just acts really weird and I'm glad I don't have be around her much. 

 

If I had really said anything to her about her comment, I would have said this......that I feel that once someone has done something hurtful to me, they are not my freind anymore.  And I make it a point to never communicate with them again.  I leave the situation, I leave them, and I turn away.  I almost told Margo that her comment hurt my feelings, and that I was not going to turn away from her, and she would ONLY be seeing me if the whole family was doing something together.  And even then she would be lucky to have me acknowledge her.  I wanted to say that I shun those types of people in life,  I don't need them.

 

Gregg and Margo left on Sunday night, and Yogi and I left on Monday.  Monday morning as my mom and I were talking aobut the whole weekend and how Margo acted, I told my mom that I was really very irritated over that whole thing, and also over the letter that Margo had written (2 years ago, now).  I told my mom that I"m having a hard time with the whole situation.  By them letting the whole thing slide under the table, they're really in essence enabling Margo to do this more.  I told my mom that what is unhappy in Gregg and Margo's life needs to stay inside the four walls of their home.  If Travis is not happy with his presents or the amount of them, let him cry at home, but don't put it off on someone else as though they are responsible for Travis's happiness.  I told my mom that my own kids are not always happy with their presents, but, they better just button up their lips and make due.  It's not a perfect world, and the sooner they've learned that, the better they've done.  Anyway, I told my mom that I almost came back at Margo and laid out all her shinanigans on the table.  I almost let fly, that I know about her letter and how much she's hurt my mom with it.  Almost.  But I thought better of it, and didn't.  For my mom's sake I didn't say anything.    

 

Sooooo............there you have it.  The absolute newest addition of the Margo hour.  Other than that, we're all fine, and well, and not getting on each other's nerves.  (o:

 

I'm going to sign off here, as this has become rather long.